The family of Jesus, Mary and
Joseph is known as the Holy family. Reflecting on the Holy family of Nazareth,
gives us the exemplary life of Jesus, Mary and Joseph as the ideal family, the
prototype family, the paradigm that all human families must emulate if our
world is to know true peace and lasting joy. In the Holy family, we celebrate
the preponderance of faith, hope, love, mutual respect and the fear of the
Lord, and all men and women are challenged to build their marriage and family
life on the pattern laid down by the Holy Family of Nazareth.
Reflecting on the Holy Family is
important for all of us, because we are living in a world where ideals and
value of Christian marriage and family life are becoming more and more
difficult for men and women of our age. Our secular society often considers the
pains and sacrifices that go with their marriage and family life an unnecessary
burden that must be rejected. The men and women of our generation often want to
have their pleasures, and they are often not ready to make any serious
sacrifices for the sake of the spouse or child. That is why traditional family
life, that is, the lasting union of man and woman, is becoming an endangered
institution. This to a large extent explains why there are so many cries in
many families and the high rate of failure in marriage and divorce is so high
in our society. Indeed there is a general crisis of commitment among the men
and women of our age, and this is reflected in a most pathetic way in marriage
and family life.
It is within the context of a
generation that is weighed down by a crisis of commitment; a generation where
trial marriages and divorces have become an everyday occurrence; a generation
where the unfortunate phenomenon of single parenthood is becoming prevalent; it
is within the context of an exaggerated secularism, where traditional family
values are discountenanced along with their spiritual and moral counterparts
that we reflect upon the Holy Family. Jesus, Mary and Joseph challenge the men
and women of our generation with the words of proverb 1:7 that "The fear
of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."
Christian marriage is a task, an
enormous task. It has its own joys and sorrows. The attempt by many people to
enjoy the joys of marital life and yet reject its sorrows is the root of the
crisis in marriage and family life today. Christian marriage is a life of love.
Christian love takes time to grow and mature. Christian love entails sacrifice,
including the sacrifices involved in raising children, and the sacrifice
involved in forgiving an offending and sometimes the unfaithful spouse. To
forgive an unfaithful and offending spouse is not easy; it will take the grace
of God and the maturity of Christian love. Yet it is the life of sacrifice, of
mutual forgiveness, the life of patience, and of fear of the Lord, these are
necessary for all families.
Taking into cognisance the difficulties
that go with marriage, especially its permanence and indisolubility, the
disciples said to Jesus: if that is how things are between husband and wife, it
is advisable not to marry". The reply of Jesus was, "It is not everyone
who can accept what I have said, but only those to whom it is granted"
(Matthew 19:10-11). Christian marriage is therefore a vocation for Christians.
It is a calling. Christian marriage is a grace, a gift of God to those He has
chosen. Those who do not have the life of Christ in them cannot appreciate the
spiritual dimension of Christian marriage. Success in Christian marriage and
family is to be guaranteed by God who Himself is love, and who alone can teach
us how to love, and how to raise a family in love.
The psalmist says that "Unless
the Lord builds a house, the labourers labour in vain" (Psalm 127:1-2).
Many of us can and indeed do build houses, but none of us can on our own build
a home. We need the fear of the Lord. We need the grace of God, in order to
build a home. In John 15:1-12 Jesus emphasises the fact that we are only branches.
He is the vine, we shall bear fruits in plenty. But cut off from Him, we can do
nothing. God is love and He is the source, the fountain, the summit of love.
Only those who seek God and who abide in God and His ways shall succeed in living
a life of love. Human relations will be better ordered where there is wholesome
respect for God and His will. The love for and fear of the lord inspires mutual
respect and mutual forgiveness which are necessary conditions for a peaceful
marriage. Those who fear the Lord are more easily disposed to love their
neighbour. Those who fear the Lord shall be endowed with the same grace that
sustained Jesus, Mary and Joseph in Nazareth. Indeed, piety is the true foundation
of both family and social life.
Christian families must be always
united with God in prayer. They must learn to pray together, for the family
that prays together stays together. The communion of life that the Christian
family is, makes it a school of love. In Christian marriage and family life,
the members gradually learn the meaning of the words of St. Paul in
1Corinthians 13:4-7, that "Love is always patient and kind; love is never
jealous; love is not boastful or conceited; love is never rude and never seeks
its own advantages. Love does not rejoice at wrong doing, but finds its joy in
truth. Love is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure
whatever comes. Love never comes to an
end....."
The Christian family is the proper
place to conquer selfishness and greed, since the husband and wife and children
are compelled by their faith in God and their mutual commitment to share. The Christian
family is the proper place to overcome inordinate anger and the spirit of vengeance,
since the divine commitment compels them to forgive one another after every hurt.
The Christian family is the proper place to learn to rejoice, with those who
rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn.
The husband, wife or child in the Christian family is not only a neighbour, but
also a friend, for whom one should be ready to lay down his or her life. The Christian
family is therefore, a place to grow in
holiness of life. That is why Christian marriage is seen by the Christian church
as a vocation.
Fidelity in Christian marriage and family
should bring fulfilment and peace, and should ultimately lead the couple and
their children to God. The Christian
family is, therefore, the divinely provided context in which the Christian child
may grow to physical, mental and spiritual maturity. Proverbs 22:6 says that if
you train a child in the way of the Lord when he is young, he will not depart
from it when he grows old.
Written by:
Rev. Fr. Bonaventure Ashibi,
OSJ.
For: Nigerian Catholic Reporter.
Posted by:
Ms'Lin.
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